| | Time: | 03:20 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/hot_hammy.gif) is melting an emotion? |
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| why did i go running?
dying. dying. dying. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| | Current Music: | leningrad | | Subject: | pics | | Time: | 09:57 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/grateful_hammy.gif) grateful |
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it was amazing and delightful and really really indulgent. muzak picked up the entire tab for 70 people to have the "key to paradise" package at the ritz-carlton in jamaica for 5 days - flights, rooms, eating in the ritz's 5 amazing restaurants, gratutities, golf, and a spa treatment. actual montego bay, away from the resort, was pretty gross and scary. they have a very aggressive sales technique. anyway, it was a wonderful trip. even i can't really complain.. ^_^ and to top it off they left presents in our room every night and gave my husband an award. :) now i'm totally wiped out from all the merriment, and of course my sensitive and sickly little body is really feeling the effects of all the sun and salt and food and everything else, so i'm pretty miserable at the moment, but at least it waited for me to get home before it crapped out on me. overall, good times. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| hi there everyone. i'm alive. everything's ok. i have a headache, but i already took two tylenol that for some reason were coated in sugar, and ani is no longer screaming "le bun!" so even that should clear up.
we're leaving for jamaica on sunday. i am excited and everything and even have a bikini (i will spare you those photos), but i am starting to get weepy and mournful about leaving my babies behind. i know i don't see lynn but once a week but it's still a lot more comforting to be in the same country. and i haven't been seperated from ani for more than an overnight before. :(
i also need awesome trip music! my new favorites are andrew bird and leningrad, but i'm not sure how beachy those are. although my "beach book" is kafka's "the trial", so perhaps i shouldn't worry about it.
ok that's it. this thing bores me.
ohh yea and i joined a gym. hahahaha.. oh my. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| ok, so the baby sitting has been straightened out, and so, yes, we are going to jamaica for 4 days the last week in march. i know we don't have to pay for anything, and that's about it.. i don't know where we're staying or anything like that yet. hopefully taylor will be bringing home some info on that today.
we've never really won anything before, and we never got a "proper" honeymoon, so this is pretty amazing. although... and don't kill me here.. i'm not entirely overjoyed.... for the following reasons:
1) this is a muzak trip. that means that there will be muzak people, muzak activities, and muzak shmoozing. so it's not so much a romantic getaway as a company picnic.
2) island paradises have never really appealed to me. the environment is not exactly suited to me.. being that.. i don't tan. at all. i burn very quickly, and then i get sun poisoning. it happens in a matter of minutes. so i'm going to be the only person hiding under baggy clothes and a hat. which isn't entirely bad, because, for a small person, i look fairly horrible in a bathing suit. no, this isn't me being all girly, seriously, my skin is translucent, i have stretch marks going up both hips that are dark purple (oooohhh BABIES), c-section pudge, and well, let's just say, when i had ani, my breasts were like a DD. at least. when all that went away.. it doesn't leave a lot of.. um.. perk. yea. so. i have the body of an 80 year old woman. swimsuit-bad. i haven't bought one since i was 13. and all of THAT perhaps isn't a huge loss because.......i can't swim. to sum up, sun+water = me reading a book somewhere.
3) i'm going to miss my babies. a lot.
yes i can find ANYTHING to complain about. lol. of course i want to go, i'm going to try my damnedest to have a super swell time. it's just hitting an awful lot of insecurity buttons and that's sorta bumming me out. blah. i wish i was more travel compatible. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| everything was normal with the scan. i don't know what's wrong now. we won an all expense paid trip to jamaica, but we might not be able to go, because we don't have a baby sitter. today was not great. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | fret | | Time: | 08:10 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/worried_hammy.gif) worried |
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| lynn has her endoscopy in just a couple hours.. i know it's a routine type procedure, but any time they have to put one of my babies to sleep i sorta freak out.. plus i'm rather nervous at what they might find.. :( send us your good thoughts. mwah. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| i don't know if someone just tried to break into my house or something, but i'm freaking out and alone and writing a journal about it. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i hope everyone out there had a supa dupa new year's eve. want to hear something really sad? for the first time since i was a kid, i didn't make it to midnight. OUCH. i had a headache and laid on the couch watching my husband play FFXII, then at about 11 we went to bed. freaking festive, are we. didn't have so much as a glass of wine, but you might say i abused the excedrin, which is sort of like recreational drug use. see, i'm the karen you all once knew! watch me throw up!
aha. actually it was nice to not have any expectations for having an "awesome" new year's, which i can never really live up to, being more flunky than party planner.
soooo, the holidays were.. really really tiring. i micromanaged myself into a nice little funk. i spent the week leading up to xmas in a frenzy of baking and cleaning and taking care of the kiddies.. my mom and bob got in the friday before xmas so i sort of got to visit with them, but it didn't feel like much. we had xmas eve with taylor's family, and i'm pretty sure that's the day my spirit sort of cracked. not that anything bad went on over there, just that day i was so damn tired and irritable from doing everything else that i didn't really get to enjoy myself. we got nice stuff tho, i got a food processor and an apron and cutting boards (i'm so domestic), ani got blocks and a baby papasan chair and a piano and other neat stuff, and taylor, most importantly, got FFXII, which is all we really needed anyway. :) i believe all of our gifts were appreciated as well, so success.. if only i'd slept..
same problem xmas, we woke up early to shower before ani got up, then had our own little celebration before my family got there. that was nice.. taylor got me an ipod nano and robe and lots of other nice things, ani liked all of our stuff, and he liked everything i got him, good wine, cologne, wine rack, and essentially a nintendo wii (long story). wii! i sorta hate that thing. but anyway. then my mom, stepdad, brother, and his girlfriend, and lynn showed up. that was a little crazy. our living room is just too small for all of that wrapping paper. taylor got some tools, and i got paula deen cookbooks, which will taste good for now and kill us in the long run :). it was too frenzied to tell who got what and what was going on, so it was less than enjoyable. then also my mom was sad for some reasons and upset for others, my brother got a horrible headache and was out of it and unhappy all day, so i barely got to visit with him, which sucks, because we're not really talking siblings.. mom and i made dinner and were grumpy and tired and that was christmas. pretty depressing. which makes me feel like i failed, because it was my job to make the merry. ah well. we got lynn a game boy advance and so she seemed content, although completely absorbed for the rest of the day.
everyone left a couple days later, and we went to the westin for our anniversary. that, at least, was nice. we were in an upgraded room on the 23rd floor, which was amazing.. soooo fucking comfortable.. i can't even describe. they have a dual showerhead in the bathrooms. that is an investment i may have to make one day. we had dinner at harry and jean's, had a drink in the bar, watched the illusionist, ordered creme brulee from room service.. it was pretty perfect. i highly recommend it, esp over marriott hotels, which suck. and then the next day i got pancakes! good stuff. btw, the illusionist was an awesome movie. much better than the prestige, even with the bowie cameo. i think what put me off seeing it in the theatres was jessica biel attempting a viennese accent, but they seem to have anticipated people would feel that way, and so she isn't on screen very often.
ahhhh and then finally, lynn's 10th birthday party at build-a-bear on saturday, which eric and cindy were, as always, kind enough to pay for and plan. i'm always sad that i don't really get to contribute to planning her parties, but i can't afford to do what they can and she wants, so i suppose it's better this way. this one was a really good idea, lots of kids showed up (hey, free designer bears will draw) and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. her actual birthday is tomorrow. i can't believe she's 10 already. i feel so damn... old. i'm going to be 25 this year.. i know that doesn't seem old to most other people i know (just my husband, that's gonna be no fun when i turn 30, i assure you) but i'm definitely starting to feel that way. i mean, i couldn't stay up until midnight. i didn't even want to. i value the sleep. so much.
i think that about covers it. right now, i'm ready to get back on our regular schedule, before taylor and i kill each other. i miss my mom already, can't wait for her to come back down.. i'm in serious need of a girl outing with court.. annnnd new year's resolutions? i'm old, and so are they: i want to get in shape and eat better, and overall just take better care of myself, have more patience, be a better mother and wife. what freaking fun! maybe i'll try and get a hobby in there.. more socializing? more friends? do i have the time even?.. i dunno.. hard to say. i miss the way i used to be sometimes, complete lack of responsibility and all. or just the ability to sleep after binge drinking. sweet sweet nicotine. something. bah. i need to be happier this year, somehow, that's what i'm saying. i love my family, i think i take good care of them.. now i need to work on me a little bit.
thank you tony robbins! mwah! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | bing crosby and david bowie, fool. | | Subject: | hi people | | Time: | 09:09 pm |
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| how's it going. i have a headache. nothing new there.
i have horrible problems sleeping. i wake up at 3 and can't get back to sleep. it's driving me crazy. can't afford ambien. that sucks.
i did everything on my to-do list today. to-do. today. ta-da!
ok, enough blither. did everyone see me dance like a fool? http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=b45fdc1819e95e477231afeG06121712
there, enjoy. :) i made one of my stepfather that was really spot on. good times.
call me a sap (you're a sap! fuck off!) but i loooove christmas. i love the lights, i love the music, i love all the damn merriment. i'm sorry. i realize that makes me an outcast amongst the people of my age bracket but i don't care. i have a family and kids and this year i'm hosting christmas and it's all just super. we spent way too much money on gifts and that's ok.. i'm going to gain 10 lbs from cookies and that's ok.. i'm trying to just let it all go, because i'm pretty sure stress is killing me. but that's ok too.
i just booked a hotel room at the westin for our anniversary. rawr. free upgrade to a grand deluxe room, woo hoo! it's going to be nicer than the place we stayed for our honeymoon. ohhh giddy.
ok, i was positive this time. that's your gift! mwah, love you guys. in case i don't post again (seems likely), TRY to have a good holiday.. gettin all festive won't hurt too much, and if it does, i know some of you like that. ^_^ | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i just made the best oatmeal cookies in the world, if i do say so myself, with cranberries and walnuts.. yum goodie. did i mention what a wonderful wife i am, staying at home baking cookies while my husband is out at bars? lol. how sad.
i haven't wanted to post in a while. nothing happens. i got drunk last weekend and yet again went through the insomnia and panic attacks afterwards, so someone STOP ME from doing that any more. i am physically incapable of having a good time. literally.
i'm all excited about christmas and can't wait to give my kiddies their presents. the waiting kills me, but i know that when it's all over, xmas, our anniversary, lynn's b/day, nothing happens for months. and i have a very very boring life.
annnnd that's why i'm done. cookies cookies cookies. yay. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| nothing new is happening but my brain is going a mile a minute.. it's tiring, i do not like to think anymore.
xmas is coming, oh excitement. my entire family is coming in (that's right: both of them) so i have to not only buy presents for everyone, but also decorate and plan a meal. whee! stress i need! i actually love christmas and everything, i like buying presents, i want to decorate and make happy little memories for my children before they grow to hate me, but the end of the year blows. christmas, our anniversary, new year's, and lynn's birthday are all within 8 days of each other, so basically b/w christmas and birthday, there's no money left to do anything fun for new year's, and i'm pretty sure nothing will happen on our anniversary either. that sucks. now i know why people get married in june: present dispersement.
and you know, i want presents damnit.
i moved furniture today, i am mighty mouse! rawr!
i'm thinking of taking on a job in a few months.. a woman taylor works with is pregnant and will be a single mother and doesn't want to leave her baby in day care (understandably), so she asked taylor if i might want to. there are MANY MANY downsides.. one being that she can't really afford daycare, so i'd be making like 100 a week. that would end up being under $2 per hour, which is uh.. yea. and two, oh my good sweet lord, two children? the only way i make it though the day now is with that good old maternal thing; with two babies all day, i might hurt myself. so i might try it out for a while, we really really really need the money, but honestly, i mostly see this as a good deed, not so much employment.
then maybe i can afford the anti-anxiety medication that i would sorely need to get through every day.
i'm so freaking bored.. i never do anything.. when i hung out with courtney last week we did errands for god's sake.. i need to have some fun or some valium. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | allo everybody.. i'm trying to clean houses to earn some money for christmas, so if you or anyone you know is interested just let me know.. thanks! :) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| my computer died, and i'm fairly pissed off about it. i have to use taylor's laptop, and who knows what sort of sinful behavior preceeded my useage. ugh.
now i have to buy a new one with like $500 of my hardearned invisible money! super!
i'm very much stressed. irritated! argh!
i know, i know.. rawr rawr rawr, no one understands you, she-bear.
time for gymboree. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | movie | | Time: | 10:39 am |
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| | the prestige was by no means a bad film, but it wasn't everything i wanted it to be either.. lots of tesla and smeagol and hats. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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